My life is like seeing a classmate's pencil slowly roll off his desk without their knowledge of the situation. Being the kind of person I am, I extend my arm to try and catch it as it falls, only to halt myself right before the area my hand needs to be to prove useful to the predicament. Seeing the pencil slowly fall down, bouncing and flipping upon collision with the floor, wondering if the sight of it dancing upon the floor outweighs the hollow "thank you" from my classmate as I stop the inevitable free-fall of the pencil.

What I lack isn't a desire to help, but rather a reason for it. What incentive is there for catching the pencil? Is it worth the effort? Motivation is the activation or energization of goal-oriented behavior. (go Wikipedia!) Is that true? Is motivation really the activation, or is it incentive. Am I being pedantic about this seemingly worthless situation? Most likely. What is the purpose to offer a helping hand?

"When you help someone it makes you feel good inside!" - Person who is too positive for their own damn good

Oh, shut it. Sure, helping a person may make you feel good for a moment or two. But then what? "Woot! I helped someone! Is anyone gonna help me?" NOPE. Once you make yourself that person who helped someone, you will remain as THAT GUY. The person who helps people. "Since he gives such good advice, he must be doing well huh?" That is what you have become. On the flip side, begging for help then brings on pity. I don't know about you, but being pitied sounds about as good as a punch to the crotch. Once you have brought about pity, you have essentially lowered yourself as a person in the eyes of those around you. You are no longer perceived as that strong-willed person able to withstand any situation that may come your way. Let's face it, people admire strong-willed people. Up until the point where you show the slightest bit of weakness, you are no longer on that plateau. From then on you are the weak, broken person who should be felt sorry about. No longer admired. No longer looked up to. Nothing.

So those people who are cursed to be that person who must never show weakness. Is that the motivation that we are cursed to have. Is the only reason we do what we do forever be to not be pitied upon? To not be looked down upon? What kind of life is that?!

Conclusion? There is none, just an end to my patience to writing in a virtual journal, that in reality only 2 or 3 people, at most, will ever GLANCE at.